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69% of Filipino singles experience ‘betterment burnout—here’s how you can prioritize self-care and mental wellness when finding romance

Many people have a constant desire for self-improvement, striving to “glow up” in all aspects of life. From crushing those fitness goals to mastering a new hobby and even nailing the dating scene, this relentless pressure to be better is taking a toll on people’s well-being, leading to significant burnout especially among many women.

Bumble, the app that started a movement by putting women in charge when dating, recently identified a trend termed ‘Betterment Burnout’ which revealed that a majority (55%)* singles surveyed globally feel pressure to constantly look for ways to better themselves, with this number being even higher in the Philippines at 69% of Filipinos feeling the same way. This leaves more than 1 in 4 (26%) feeling unworthy of a partner.

However, Filipino women are also taking a stand for self-acceptance. More than two-thirds of those surveyed (69%) are taking active steps to be happier with who they are and now. In fact, 38% of women are making bold statements in dating stating that they will only date those who accept them for who they truly are.

From dating detox to dating done right

This newfound focus on self-care extends beyond personal growth. Bumble also reveals a global trend towards prioritizing mental health in dating, with over half (58%)* of singles being more open about their mental well-being.

In the Philippines specifically, this translates to a shift in dating habits. Nearly half (49%) of Filipino singles are embracing “slow dating” and are being considerate about how much they are dating to ensure quality over quantity, even more so amongst women (56%). In fact, 1 in 2 Filipinos (46%) are actively seeking partners who practice and value self-care. This trend suggests dating in the Philippines is becoming more intentional, focused on finding someone who complements their well-being and shares their values.

Swipe right on self-care and mental wellness

Whether you’re ready to get back out there, or need some extra motivation to keep looking for the right person, here’s what Bumble recommends.

Be upfront with your dating intentions. Relationships look different for everyone, but more than 2 in 3*** (68%) of women surveyed stated that they struggle with people not being upfront about their dating intentions. Bumble’s data**** also shows that women want to learn more about a potential match before they connect, with nearly 80% swiping right once they have viewed the entire profile. 

To help people better communicate what they are looking for now, not just in the future, the app has updated its Dating Intentions badges to include everything from ‘fun, casual dates’ and ‘intimacy without commitment’ to a ‘life partner’ and ‘ethical non-monogamy.’ People on Bumble can now also select up to two dating intentions to be shown on their profile. More than 3 in 4*** (77%) women surveyed globally on Bumble said knowing someone’s dating intentions is one of the most important things when online dating. 

• Be intentional in your self-care. Feeling depleted? Take a step back and identify what’s causing you stress. Once you understand the source of this feeling, prioritize self-care. Schedule activities you enjoy, and consider setting boundaries or reducing commitments that drain your energy.

Bumble research** also revealed that the majority of Filipinos (72%) have established more boundaries in the past year. Dubbed  ‘Guardrailing’, a similar majority shared that they were more thoughtful and intentional in how they put themselves out there (75%), clearer about their emotional needs and boundaries (68%), and have chosen not to overcommit themselves socially (60%).

• Make sure you’re in the right headspace to date. Have an honest conversation with yourself about if you’re ready to date, and keep checking in on that decision as you go. Dating can be a whirlwind, and it’s natural to experience some emotional ups and downs. But if negativity starts to dominate your dating experience, it’s a sign you’re in control! Instead, refocus that energy on your mental health, find coping mechanisms that work for you, and come back to dating when you feel ready. 

• Refuse to take rejection personally. Sometimes a connection or a date doesn’t work out, and it’s easy for our imagination to spiral with reasons we weren’t good enough. But the last thing you should do is see a mismatch as a reflection of your value. At the end of the day, dating should be a fulfilling and fun experience. You deserve to spend your energy on people who make you feel more connected to your wonderful, lovable self. 

For those who are looking to prioritize time offline, Bumble’s Snooze Mode offers the ability to pause your activity on the app without losing any connections or chats. With Snooze Mode, you can hide your profile from potential matches for either 24 hours, 72 hours, a week, or indefinitely.

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Dexter Francis De Vera is a manila-based art director with over 20 years extensive experience in the media industry producing editorials and advertising, retail space design (store displays), and more. His inspiration has always been the most powerful and most influential segment of the design world—fashion. As managing editor, he is responsible for curating, developing and overseeing editorial and social media content for iEventetc. Keep in touch with Dexter through [email protected]